If You Are Asking the Question, “Should We Go to Couple’s Counseling?” The Answer Is Yes. By Tim Olsen, MA, LPC

If You Are Asking the Question, “Should We Go to Couple’s Counseling?” The Answer Is Yes

By Tim Olsen, MA, LPC

Despite the many differences that seem to separate us, all people are wired to be in community with others.  It doesn’t take much more investigation to see that people of all ages, genders, cultures, colors and creeds are inherently drawn to couple with one-another.  Despite this natural human tendency to share our lives with another person, so many of us don’t do it easily or have the required skill set to manage the normal ups and downs that come with it.

How then then do we navigate relationships, considering loving relationships are normally challenged and periodically troubled?  How can we foster more of the sparks and deepen the romantic fire that originally compelled us to commit ourselves to the person we so dearly love?  How do we get back to the joy of being with the one with whom we want to share our goals, ambitions, happy and sad times?  There seems to be three choices for struggling couples (hint: option 3 is best).

  • Ignore the problems, and unnecessarily suffer the consequences.
  • Rely on shared emotional resources to survive and overcome the ups and downs
  • Seek couples therapy from an experienced psychotherapist such as myself

Of course, we at Clinical Care Consultants hope you have your own personal resources to solve your problems, so that our couples/marriage therapy services are not necessary.  But in case, you don’t, we can help.  Our marriage/couples therapy will help most people in committed intimate relationships stay optimistic, loving, and of course, intact.  Our services are not just for troubled/challenged relationships, but also for working relationships which despite their individual and shared strengths, need help staying mutually supportive and loving.

Any two uniquely different but compatible people brought together into a committed relationship create a potential for, if not the expectation of, some level of friction.  Although commitment and dedication to the relationship is the engine that makes everything run smoothly and keep moving forward, each person’s individual experience and emotional health should not be forgotten!   There-in lies the problem of being a couple; two individuals existing and trying to invest in a giving committed relationship?  Enter couple’s therapy.  A good couple’s counselor can help their clients become stronger individuals through a stronger relationship.

Trained, experienced, and empathic therapists can be a tool for any relationship to foster growth and health.  Communication skills can be sharpened.  Selfishness or thoughtlessness can be overcome.  Expectations can be tempered or reigned in.  Decision making can be diversified.  Mostly importantly, a greater sense of partnership can be fostered.

To this end, a counselor can help clarify and interpret differences, needs, and desires in a way that creates acceptance and love.  By helping relationships flourish while building shared and individual resources, our clients can solve their own problems, smooth out rough edges, and make their two uniquely different selves work together in harmony.

How is this possible?  Couples therapy is based on the principle that it is possible to love and be loved, accept and be accepted, challenge and be challenged, be unique and celebrate another’s uniqueness; all without losing a sense of self.  Through accepting an unbiased position within a partnership, a therapist can see more angles, more points of opportunity, and even more points of strength than a couple can see alone.

By observing and treating the relationship as a third entity, even as a third client in the counseling room, the couple’s counselor has a unique opportunity to create a stronger bond.  A rope of three strands woven together is stronger than a rope of two; more than one strand at a time.  Each strand is itself strong, necessary, and valuable to the binding power it creates, but together they are much stronger.  If you, your partner, and your relationship are all strong, your bond will benefit.

Couples therapy is for marriages, domestic partnerships, or for those considering one of the two.  It is for those that have been intimate for years, or those who are new at it.  Couples counseling can be short or long lasting, it can be for a check-up or for crises.

Successful relationships express themselves as uniquely as the individuals which make them up. The framework which creates them is similar across humanity; two people who have committed to understand each other more and share experiences with each other more choose to do the work necessary to enjoy the process.  A CCC couples/marriage therapist can help make this smoother and stronger.  Don’t do this alone, when help is just a phone call away!

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